I often get asked how I source and curate products for LCS. The simple answer - the one I typically offer because who wants to hear me opine on the topic - is that I pick things I would want to use. The longer answer goes beneath the surface to a journey I have been on ever since I was framed for a crime in 2016.
I actively dated from 2017 onward, always with the goal of finding love, settling down, and starting a family. Having worked with little ones since high school, I yearned for children, but it wasn’t until 2020 that I met someone who I would fall in love with - it was the kind of relationship where I was starting to envision him as the father of my children and save wedding inspiration to my Pinterest board.
It became a challenging on again off again relationship, and the last time we got back together, he did something that felt like the ultimate betrayal. I couldn’t get past it, and he didn’t put much effort into helping me heal either. On top of that, the relationship was so hot and cold, and it felt like I could be stuck for eternity hoping, praying, and yearning for things that would never actually happen.
I finally left. In fact, I moved to another state because it seemed like the only way I could force myself to break the pattern. It was heartbreaking, painful, and the hardest decision I’ve ever made. In my moments of brutal honesty with myself, I begrudgingly admit that I wasn’t fully over him until the end of last year.
But I still tried to date. I dated an immature and narcissistic surgery resident. I dated a cardiologist who tried to get physical on the third date and whose response when I said no made me never want to see him again. I dated a wealthy single dad who lavished me with over-the-top gifts and trips within the first few weeks of dating (can you smell love bombing?) but revealed himself to be an emotionally abusive alcoholic. I fell in love with his adorable daughter, but I knew I had to leave him.
Somewhere in the midst of this dating chaos, I started reading a book on how to find your soulmate. I went through the process of forgiving the man I had loved so I could let go. I tried reiki to get my energy in order. I wrote down what I was looking for in a partner: must haves, nice to haves, dealbreakers. I even changed the title of my wedding Pinterest board from “Someday my prince will come (I hope)” to the more confident “Someday my prince will come.” But my favorite activity, recommended by the book, was creating a vision board for what I wanted my life to look like.
In one corner, I had words and images meant to inspire the type of business and career I wanted, including the book I was working on and a potential movie about my life. In another corner, I had inspiration for where and how I would live: a home close to NYC and then someday a beach house.
The remaining half of my vision board was devoted to love. I had a corner filled with pictures of babies and brunette women with babies, including one of a woman holding a baby in her arms at the beach and another of a woman jogging with her child in a stroller.
It was around this time that I beefed up our baby and kids offering at LCS. I didn’t have kids and wasn’t pregnant at the time, but I found myself picking out things I would want as a mom. Things I could see myself using.
In the top left corner of the vision board, I had pictures of a dark haired man who looks like he could be a runner. He is dressed casually with a sporty fleece jacket, is smiling, and seems relaxed and down to earth. There is a picture of an engagement ring. There are pictures - meant, obviously, to represent me and this future partner - running side by side and lounging on a beach. There is another one of him bringing me roses in bed and the words, “You deserve a wild love from a gentle soul.”
Much as with our baby products, I source things for our bridal shop that I want to use if - when - I do finally find my life partner: the wedding planner, the garters, even the bridal lingerie.
Which is all to say, the products I pick, the types of things I carry, are a giant, evolving vision board for my life, a life I hope with all my heart I have the will to manifest.
Vision boards are not time tables. When I got closer to 36 and realized I was burnt out on dating and only pressing forward because I didn’t want to miss my chance to have children, I decided to do things a little differently. I chose to become a single mom by choice.
I am now in my third trimester with a little girl on the way, and as I revisit my vision board, I am starting to source my vision of our lives together: swimsuits we can wear for our days at the beach or by the pool or for trips to Miami to visit a new friend who just had her baby in December, books to read to Evy, soft blankets to wrap her in.
I still haven’t given up on the top left corner of my vision board, and I even added some wedding dresses to our bridal shop for good measure. But I’m so glad I decided to become a mom - I can now say for certain that I will never have to look back at my life when I’m 45 and likely beyond my childbearing years regretting that I never fulfilled one of my deepest desires in life.
And I’m starting to think there might be something to this vision board thing so I’m not giving up on finding love yet. In the meantime, I will channel my endless optimism into picking beautiful things for the life I have and the future I want, and I will share them with you in the hope that they will bring you joy and help you manifest the life you want.